Alex, you bring up some great points. In response to your question of why I don’t respond with “I don’t eat much meat,” I really do believe that this statement would remove any questioning of the thought behind my decision, and I would be missing an opportunity to educate someone on the very real issues surrounding meat eating.

The statement, “I don’t eat much meat,” is so casual that I think the vast majority of people would simply assume, “oh, he must just not like the taste very much.”

But, if I say, “I don’t eat meat,” period, then I am about 100 times more likely to get follow up questions about why I chose this, and for me, that’s what excites me most, because then I bring people into the conversation, and for a lot of people it is the very first time they’ve considered the impact of their dietary choices. There is a difference between doing this at a table and removed from a meal too, of course, and I prefer not to do it at a meal, but after, or later.

Another factor, and this is really for another blog post, is that for whatever reason, people really do view fish as very different from other types of meat. We can ponder this question for now, since, like I said, it is really a topic rich enough for it’s own post, but it is interesting nonetheless. Even though when I clarify and say, “but I still eat fish,” and people do change their expression, they still treat me like a vegetarian going forward. Maybe because other forms of meat are more ubiquitous, and I have opted out of 90% of the meat Americans eat. In a fish eating community elsewhere in the world, I wouldn’t have a strange diet at all. Or maybe it’s that fish are the only widely consumed wild caught food left. Who knows; but to most, it is different.

The final point that I find troubling is the judgment. It is something I get a lot from people and I find is so strange. “You aren’t gong to judge me if I eat meat, are you?” People immediately get so self conscious. I never judge those for their dietary choices, especially at the table. But why do people get so self conscious? Do they know, on some level, that there are real issues surrounding meat eating, issues they would otherwise not even address, but with a vegetarian at the table they suddenly feel shame? There shouldn’t be a reason to feel shame if one is perfectly comfortable with their choices. These are all good questions probably suited for another post soon.

Thanks again for all your comments, I really appreciate them!

Labels like “vegetarian” and “vegan” seem to offer specific information. They are terms with commonly understood definitions, so it is assumed that if you use the terms, you are using them to mean what people understand them to mean. But this alone does not explain the struggle taking place with these labels – people are not just simplistic dictionary police.

Dietary labels are also loaded with social stigmas. One thing undoubtedly associated with them is an air of superiority and enlightenment. When someone announces their adherence to a conscious lifestyle, all those who do not adhere to some similar discipline feel implicitly labeled as “unconscious” and thereby feel judged. This is the root of the tension I believe, where the ego takes over and things start to get tense.

Once labeling has been brought to the dinner table, there are rewards and penalties for what you label yourself. A form of credit is given to those who claim to follow a specific plan with healthy sustainable aims. Before they fall too far behind in the credit game, all those who have no label need to test those who have labeled themselves. Have they earned it? Do they really deserve the credit they are being given? Do I really need to take on the shame associated with having an “unconscious” diet? So they press for details and get hung up on technicalities.

Of course the ego is not only at work in those without labels. The labeled eaters are also aware of the credit and shame at stake, and may perhaps be exceptionally aware of another form of judgement being passed around the table: the label of the “weirdo”. Sharing food is a very basic human expression of community and relationship, and when someone passes a dish with no explanation, it stands out. If you are going to only fill your plate half way while the rest of us gorge ourselves, you have some explaining to do. Vegetarians and vegans certainly know this, and perhaps dread meals with new people because of it. But they have a trump card in this dilemma – the label. The label clears their name, and then some. I suspect labels get used with gusto for this reason.

To people with labels, like yourself Devin, I ask this question: When asked why you didn’t take any turkey, why don’t you respond with “I don’t eat much meat”? Is it because you want full credit for the maximal extent of your dietary choices? Or more nobly, is it because you want to be spreading awareness of your reasons for your choices? Either way, you are asking for tension between you and the unlabeled.

And to those who give you a hard time for not being the perfect technical picture of your labels, I say “Geez, settle down. Since when did a single word fully describe the nuances of a person’s lifestyle? Why do you care anyways?”